Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, " I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,
and drink what ever comes out."
Who was the first one to look at the white thing that was coming out of a chickens butt and said,
"looks good, let's eat."
Is Disney Land the only people trap operated by a mouse?
If flying so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
What do people in China call their good dishes?
What hair color do they put on a drivers license of someone who's bald?
Why do you need a drivers license to but liquor, but you can't drink and drive?
Why are there flotation devices in the seats of airplanes instead of parachutes?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but
nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a
letter requesting the $100.00. When Canada Post received the letter addressed to God, Canada, they decided to send it to the
The Prime Minister was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The Prime Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to
a little boy. The little boy was delighted with
the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Thank you very much for sending
However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Ottawa,
and, as usual, those *#%!* deducted
$95.00 in taxes.
A couple of young boys were fishing at one of the ponds off the beaten
track. All of a sudden, a Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started
running through the woods as fast as his feet would take him. The Game Warden was hot on his heels. After about a mile through
the the woods, brush and brooks,and 30 minutes later, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs
to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally catches up to him. "Let's see your fishin' license, Boy!" the Warden
gasped out of breath. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license. "Well,
son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid
license!" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well you see, he doesn't have one."
Herman, a senior citizen was driving down the highway,when his cell phone rang. Answering,
he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong
way on Highway 104. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"